


Fortuitous Thlapapa Consults

by tptigger



Category: Young Wizards - Diane Duane
Genre: Fluff, Gen, M/M, Tom and Carl are great role models, linguistics abuse, sometimes when you drop by a friend's it's not for the reason you think
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-24
Updated: 2019-12-24
Packaged: 2021-02-26 07:08:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,303
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21939481
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tptigger/pseuds/tptigger
Summary: Kit and Nita have a spelling problem, so they drop by Tom and Carl's thinking it's because they need their help with it.
Relationships: Carl Romeo/Tom Swale
Comments: 13
Kudos: 74
Collections: Yuletide 2019





	Fortuitous Thlapapa Consults

**Author's Note:**

  * For [teacup_of_doom](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teacup_of_doom/gifts).



> Many thanks to G and A for the beta reading. Special thanks to mutuisanimis, speech linguist extraordinaire for the linguistics consult!
> 
> Happy Yuletide, teacup_of_doom! I don't know if this is quite what you were expecting, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. ;)

Kit and Nita stared at the Brownian Motion simulation on their computer screen. 

"Well, no wonder there's no Speech algorithm ready-made," Kit said. "That looks hard."

Nita turned to her manual, looking for a section on describing motion, then, read it. Then read it out loud to Kit. "In addressing such motion, you must consider both where each particle is and where it is not. Where it has been and where it has not. It is best to use the _thlapapa_ rather than the _rlopapa_ in describing the motion that does not happen, and the _thlaboso_ for the motion that might not happen."

She read it again. "Any ideas?"

"What is a _thlapapa_?" Kit asked. "Beats me. Maybe ask Bobo?"

_That would be telling._

"He's been watching too much of The Prisoner." Nita closed her book, folding her arms on Kit's kitchen table and laying her head on top of them. "This should be easier."

"I blame school," Kit said. "Let's go see if Tom and Carl can help."

Carmela snorted. "You might want to wait until tomorrow. Or call first."

"We're welcome to drop in at any time." Nita squinted at Carmela appraisingly. She _knew_ this. "Even if it is just to win a bet with Darryl about improbability drive."

"I'd call first," Carmela reiterated.

Kit frowned at his big sister. "Why?"

Carmela tossed her hair. "You saw the big news in the state legislature, right?"

"Governor Cuomo signed the bill legalizing gay marriage?" Nita asked. "What about it?"

Carmela stared. "Seriously?"

"Seriously what?" Kit asked. "Stop being so cryptic, 'Mela."

Carmela huffed and flounced out of the room.

* * *

They walked to Tom and Carl's rather than teleporting, partly to save energy, partly hoping that the fresh air and exercise would cause the answer to appear, and then they wouldn't have to bug Tom and Carl.

"What was 'Mela on about?" Kit asked as they reached the roundabout.

"I have no idea," Nita said. "That was weird."

They rounded a corner to come up to Tom and Carl's hedge.

"Wild, there are streamers in the hedge," Kit said.

"Why white?" Nita asked.

They walked through the gate to see a rainbow flag hanging from Tom and Carl's door.

Kit stopped short, pieces tumbling into place. "Nita, did you ever find it weird that Tom and Carl lived together when they both had really good jobs?"

"No, but I'm thinking maybe I should have," Nita said. 

Tom poked his head out the door. "Kit! Nita! I'm really glad you're here! You two might as well come in. We're almost ready."

"Ready for..." Nita asked. She blinked as she followed Tom in the door and registered that he was wearing a tux. 

They followed Tom through to the living room, which was decked out in flowers. A buffet including a bowl full of punch and boxes full of cupcakes. A banner where someone had hastily, but skillfully, sketched two grooms holding hands and cutting a cake was hung over the fireplace.

Rainbow flag. Tux. A wedding! No wonder Carmela had thought they maybe should have called first. Tom and Carl were gay. And getting married!

"You two move fast!" Kit exclaimed.

Nita had been thinking it, but thought she maybe shouldn't say so out loud.

"Just in case the state changes its mind. Besides, we figured if we didn't basically elope Carmela would be begging to be our wedding planner," Carl joked.

"She probably would."

"You guys know Sam, Anthony, and Hugh?" Tom asked.

"Dai stihó," Sam said.

"Dai," Kit and Nita said at once.

There was a cacophony of footsteps approaching. Nita turned, expecting to see Annie running in.

Instead she saw Artem, a wizard who had graduated from her high school the previous year. He was wearing a suit with a rainbow tie. "Am I too late?"

"There's our last attendant!"

Artem's jaw dropped. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," Tom said, beckoning him over. "Do you think we'd have had you gate in all the way from Stanford just to be a wedding guest?"

Artem grinned.

Sam, who had donned a skullcap and a shawl with fringes, grinned. "Ok, are we ready?"

"You don't have to wear..."

"Carl, I realize neither of you are Jewish, but this is the first time I've married two people of the same gender and been able to sign a New York marriage license. I'll of course take them off if it makes you uncomfortable, but if not, I'd prefer to do it in my proper attire."

"They're from your religion, as long as you feel it's appropriate," Tom said.

"I'll admit this is the first time I've married a couple when neither party is Jewish, but G-d loves a good love story, and if I can help out a couple of old friends finally get legally married while the law is on their side, I presume G-d would approve."

Nita smiled. She liked this guy.

Tom and Carl stood in front of him, Artem next to Carl, and Anthony next to Tom.

Sam smiled widely. "Cousins, we are all here today, gathered on short notice--some of us blown in for what they thought were other reasons, but both G-d and the other Powers sent them here for this--to acknowledge what most of us, but mostly Tom and Carl already know: that theirs is an abiding, enduring love.

"Usually, here, I give the happy couple some sage advice about their relationship..."

Anthony snorted.

"No remarks from the peanut gallery," Sam said, glaring. "However, we all would do well to take a page out of Tom and Carl's book: they've been partners for nearly twenty years; they've been my friends for the last ten years. In that time, I have watched them tease each other, but always with loving kindness. I've watched them support each other, be there for each other, and always, always have each other's backs. Even those of us who are close to you don't see the work, because when facing the world you always present a united front. So, rather than offering sage wisdom..."

At this point, Tom lowered his eyes, and Nita suspected that he was trying not to laugh.

"...I will simply ask Tom to make a promise to Carl."

Anthony winced.

"I gave him a limit of 500 words, don't worry," Carl chuckled.

"I didn't even need that," Tom said with a grin. 

"Carl, if these last two decades have taught me one thing-- they've actually taught me many things, but bear with me here-- the only thing constant is change. When we started out on this journey together, we never even imagined that marriage would even be in the cards for us and yet here we are.

"I'm not the same man I was when we started down this path, but then again, neither are you. I've watched you struggle, and thrive and slowly grow kinder, wiser, and... well, slightly more handy."

Carl smirked at him, and Tom just winked. 

"I couldn't be prouder of the man you've become on this twenty year journey, and I look forward to where the next twenty years--and beyond--take us. I promise that wherever we go from here, wherever the world and the Powers take us, we go together."

Carl wiped his eyes with the back of his hand. "Should've known better than to let the writer go first."

The audience chuckled.

"Too late now," Sam teased, lightly. "You get to make your promise to him now."

"Tom, if twenty years ago, someone had told me that we'd be getting married and the state of New York would recognize it, I'd have thought you were off your rocker-- not that we wouldn't be together, I kind of had an inkling that you were the one from the very first spell we did together-- but that marriage would even be an option.

"Let's face it, like Sam said, this is making formal what we already know-- to quote Shakespeare..."

"Now, wait a minute, I'm the writer!" Tom protested.

"You left me an opening, I'm walking through it," Carl said. "So, as the great bard said, as you are mine, I am yours."

Tom smiled and looked at Sam. "Can I kiss him now?"

"Patience, grasshopper," Sam said. "Anthony, do you have the ring?"

Anthony produced a gold band, and handed it to Carl.

Tom held up his left hand up to Carl.

"Ok, Carl, humor Tom a little, at his request, we're going old school," Sam said. "Repeat after me. With this ring."

"With this ring, I thee wed." Carl put the ring on Tom's finger.

Sam chuckled. "That's not repeating after me, but you knew your line, so that's ok."

"Artem do you have the other ring?" Sam asked. 

"I've got it." Hugh handed the ring to Tom. Carl held up his hand.

"Ok, Tom, do you want me to feed you your line or do you know it?"

Tom laughed. "With this ring, I thee wed." He placed the ring on Carl's finger.

"Ok, so by the powers vested in me by G-d, the other Powers, and, most importantly and excitingly the great State of New York! I now pronounce you married! Ok, Tom, now you can kiss him!"

Tom laughed and did, dipping Carl back, and kissing him tenderly. Nita wondered if, just for a moment, they'd forgotten there was anyone else in the room. After a short while, they straightened up and pulled apart, but Tom took Carl's hand.

"Ladies and gentlemen, I present Tom and Carl Swale-Romeo!"

Everyone clapped and cheered.

"Everyone please help yourself to food; I think we went a little overboard!" Carl said, still holding onto Tom's hand. 

"Are you sure you're not Jewish?" Sam winked. 

Carl socked him in the arm. "Wiseacre."

"It's why you love me," Sam said.

"Damn straight," Carl said.

"Nope," Tom teased.

"I'm surrounded by wiseguys," Carl laughed.

* * *

Kit and Nita each got plates of food, drifting towards the library as guests spread out throughout the house.

Kit set down his plate, picked up one of the cupcakes, and munched on it thoughtfully, and started perusing book titles. One caught his eye. He placed the cupcake down on the plate, stole Nita's napkin to wipe his hands on...

"Hey!" Nita objected.

"I don't want to get icing on Tom and Carl's book," Kit said, laying the napkin down.

"You should've gotten your own napkin."

"But I have yours," Kit said. He placed the napkin back by Nita's plate.

"Ew, gross," Nita said.

Kit pulled the book down. "Look." He showed her the title. _Quantum Physics and Linguistics: A Compositional, Diagrammatic Discourse_

"That might help!" Nita exclaimed. Her frustration about Kit stealing her napkin forgotten. They flopped together on the loveseat opening the book between them.

* * *

"How are you two doing?" Carl asked a little while later as he entered the library.

"Good," Kit said around a bite if his cupcake. "These are delicious."

"Don't get me wrong, Tom and I debated calling you, but we hadn't come out to you and it felt like hitting you with a bit much, but I don't think you actually came to see us get married."

"Can we borrow this?" Kit asked, showing Carl the book title. "I think this might be just what we need."

"And a dictionary," Nita said. "But Bobo's more forthcoming on words now we have it."

"Or maybe now that we came here," Kit said. 

Carl chuckled. "I'm glad you were here, even if it took Bobo being cryptic for you to make it."

"Me too," Kit said.

"Me three," Nita said. "But I may go look up 'oblivious' in the dictionary and see if my picture's there."

Tom arrived at just that moment. "Why ever would you think that?"

"I mean, the second I saw the flag over your door was the first time I thought to wonder why you guys live together when you both have decent paying jobs. Who buys a house with their best friend?"

"I know of a couple of asexual wizards in Nebraska, actually. Nice folks, they make great chocolate chip cookies."

Kit chuckled. "See, don't feel bad."

Nita just blushed. "Congratulations."

"Thank you," Tom said. "Carl get you two squared away?"

"I think we solved it ourselves," Kit said. "Well, with this book. The break probably helped. And the cupcakes! Between the two, I think I maybe know a way forward."

Tom chuckled. "Or we broke your brains open."

Kit shrugged. "No big deal."

Tom and Carl exchanged glances. "Yeah, we probably don't still need to be as careful as when we started," Tom said.

Kit tilted his head.

"Lots of kids going in and out of the gay couples' house could feed some pretty homophobic rumors."

"Seriously?" Nita said. "Have they met you? What..." She paused, looking for the right words.

Tom gave her a one armed hug. "The word you're looking for is bigots."

"Overshadowed."

"Sadly," Carl said. "Not all evil comes from the Lone Power. Still, you see why we play things a little close to the chest."

Artem came up, giving Tom and Carl big hugs. "I gotta get back to Stamford for a study group, but thank you so much for inviting me."

"Of course," Tom said. "I hope by the time it's your turn it'll be recognized in every state."

Artem blushed. "It was great to be here today. Congratulations again and Dai stihó!"

"Dai."

"We should probably get going as well," Nita said.

"Give your dad our best," Tom said, wrapping an arm around Carl. "And tell Carmela we're sorry to disappoint her."

"I think she knew," Kit said. "She's going to mock me mercilessly over this."

"Go well, kids," Carl said.

They did, book in hand, leaving Tom and Carl to their celebration.

The End


End file.
